Beauty and the Dumbass
by AmorLorna
Summary: Blood Gulch; boring, lazy and so god-damned hot! But with Agent Indiana and Agent Arkansas thrown into the mix, things are about to get a whole lot more interesting for the Spartans. Rated M for later chapters. Yaoi pairings.
1. Pessimism gets you nowhere

**Howdy y'all! This is my first RvB fanfic, so I hope you like! ;D **

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><p>"I can't believe I gotta do this," muttered a disgruntled feminine voice from where she sat in the dispatching air craft, she was currently buckled securely in her seat as the pilot made for descending.<p>

She did not have her helmet on, revealing her beautiful features, blonde, almost white, hair hung in a styled bob cut with a thick fringe across her forehead, and jade green eyes glared venomously at the empty row of seats opposite her.

""It's a vital part of your training, Agent Indiana", well that's what the Director said anyways," replied a deep male voice to her left, Agent Arkansas, or as most people called him, Ark. He also had his helmet off, and his dark brown hair and equally dark brown eyes shone for everyone to see.

The woman let out a frustrated sigh, "Honestly, Ark, have you seen the footage we were given of these damn idiots?"

"I did, I don't think it will be so bad," he spoke in a tone that stated otherwise, but that was Ark for you, always trying to be optimistic, always looking on the 'bright side' of things and in that moment he was just saying the words to comfort the agitated Freelancer beside him, sometimes it annoyed the hell out of Indi, like now, but there were times when it came in handy and really helped his pessimistic partner.

"Fuck it all! I can't believe I signed up for this shit," she grumbled angrily. When Indi was in one of her famous sour moods, it took a while for her to let off the steam and finally calm down, and this resulted in grumbling angrily to herself or taking it out on anyone who dared come close enough.

Ark, someone who always enjoyed Indi's mood swings, decided to take it upon himself to begin whistling a happy little tune.

"Ark! Shut the fuck up or I swear to god when we touch down I will rip that tongue from your mouth!"

He stopped immediately and looked in her direction a smile of amusement on his lips, "You're pretty when you're angry," he taunted.

Indi did not comment, but decided to just aim her penetrating glare at Ark, daring him to taunt her further.

His smile did not falter for the rest of the ride. However, he was smart enough to not make any further comments before touch-down, at least then he could run away.

Indi stepped out of the air craft, her partner in tow, clad in her lilac armour, her helmet secure in the crook of her arm, as the brightness assaulted her eyes she squinted holding up her arm to shield her eyes.

"It'd be wise to wear helmet from here on out Indi; the sun is bright twenty-four-seven,"

Indi sighed, an annoyed, "dammit," emitting from her lips, as she slipped on her helmet, and locking it in place.

"1, 2, 1, 2, this is a radio check, radio check, 1, 2," Ark's voice spoke almost immediately through her helmet's radio.

She rolled her eyes, "You're such a geek," she joked.

"It pays! And besides where would you be without me and my geekiness getting you out of trouble all of the time?"

"Oh I'd be dead without you!" she mocked in high pitch girly voice, before chuckling, her sour mood draining almost immediately.

"You bet you would be, honey!" he mocked back in camp voice, and they both broke out into laughter.

You see, Ark and Indi were always paired together without a thought, they worked well together, and got things done quickly, they knew each other like the backs of their hands, so they knew each other's moves, how they thought, and they always came up with the best solutions and action-plans for certain scenarios, and they would not have it any other way.

They met when Carrie had first been assigned as Agent Indiana, and had grown pretty close over the years, becoming best friends; they looked like quite the cliché, the hot and popular high school girl best friends with the equally hot gay guy. Well that was when they were out of their armour anyway.

"I sure hope there are some beauties here to keep me entertained," he exclaimed hopefully.

"Well shit, I'm sure this damn assignment is gonna be worthy of torture, the least they could have done is provide us with some hot boy-toys if only to make it all the more bearable,"

"You know, I take your sarcastic tone rather offensively Indi,"

"Honestly, Ark, what I just said was without a hint of sarcasm, yes, that means that I am saying exactly what you are thinking... I am even willing to sink to your promiscuous level if the need be," she spoke in a serious tone, but anyone could here the subtle disgust laced in her voice.

"Pfft! No you would not, you're as frigid as frigid can get!"

She punched him on the arm, "Anyone would look frigid compared to you! Slut!"

"Prude!"

"Whore!"

"Bitch!"

They bickered for a good five minutes before silence fell amongst the duo, as they stared out into the canyon before them, bracing themselves for the horror that was sure to come.

It was Ark who broke the silence, "So, how about we get started?"

Indi took in a deep breath, "Yeah, let's get this over with,"

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><p><strong>Oh yes, be prepared for our ever-lovable characters next chapter XD Please review! I have cookies!<strong>


	2. Unwelcome introductions

**Oh snap! I forgot to disclaim last chapter, so I'll do it here! I do not own Red vs Blue or Halo, they belong to Rooster Teeth Productions and Bungie.**

**Two chapters in one night! Aren't you lucky? ;D Don't go expecting it all the time though!**

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><p>"So this is blue base," was the first thing Ark could say as he stood outside the horrid looking base, it was just so bland, aside from the blue flags hanging from the walls precariously, and honestly? What was with the design? It needed a total do-over, he sighed, if only he could, but he was there for a different reason, not to re-design their base.<p>

"What was your first clue?" Indi replied sarcastically.

"…"

"…"

"We should probably go in," Ark suggested finally.

Indi groaned, "Fucking hell… Let's get this godforsaken show on the road; I just hope I don't end up in the bath tub with slit wrists, by the end of the week,"

Ark burst out laughing at that, and without further ado they walked into the base.

Walking through the base, it became impeccably clear that the inside was just as bad, if not worse, as the outside, it was so plain and empty, like a house that had not been moved into yet, it was depressing, and certainly did not help the already sour mood of the lilac clad Freelancer, or her bright green partner.

Shouts could be heard from further in the base, the corridor they were currently venturing had no doors of any sort but at the end was an open area, and that was their destination.

Indi was attacked with an eyeful of blue before she fell to the ground with a heavy weight on her chest.

"Caboose! You fucking idiot! Don't even try running away because I'll catch you mother fucker!" a voice roared violently from further down the corridor.

Indi snapped out of her shocked daze quickly enough, "The fuck? Get the fuck off of me asshole!" she shouted in the blue's face, he did not have his helmet on and his shocking blonde hair and bright blue eyes were on view, that was currently lying on top her, in a precarious position to boot.

"Sorry ma'am!" came a childlike voice from the soldier, he did not look all that young really, only a year or two younger than herself, and yet he sounded so, so, stupid, before he quickly stood up, lifting Indi up along with him with surprising strength.

She took a step back from him, huffing angrily within her helmet, "Yeah, well, just watch where you are going from now on,"

There was a snicker on her left and she turned her head sharply, glaring at Ark with all the venom she could muster, not that it mattered seeing as he could not see her.

"Oh, jeez! Lighten up, Indi! You're glaring so loudly I can hear it from here!" he said joyfully before bursting out laughing again.

God, they're there for what? Not one minute, and Indi has already been made a fool out of!

She turned to the blue soldier, "Get your ass back in that room, I have to talk to you and your comrades," she spoke sternly, starting from the off with her orders, and not being nice about it in the slightest.

The soldier visibly shook, "B-But Church will kill me!"

"No he will not, not on my watch, now move it!"

He all but ran, his blonde hair bouncing as he moved, from Indi as she shouted at him, she followed after him with Ark in tow, enjoying every minute already.

She strode into the wide open space, at least it looked much more homely than what they had seen already, there were sofas and chairs dotted around the room, a huge T.V. against the wall opposite her and more to the right, with various games consoles connected to it, her eyes lit up from within her helmet, oh yes, at least her gaming addiction would be sufficiently taken care of during her stay here. There were various food and drink packets scattered around on the floor, furniture and coffee tables. On her left was the kitchen area, the walls were rounded, with a round dining table in the middle of it, behind the table there was door, which she presumed led to the bedrooms.

There were no windows either, and, despite the spacious lounge, Indi felt her inconvenient claustrophobia creeping up on her, artificial lights in the ceiling and lamps scattered around the room being the only light sources.

Occupying one sofa in front of the T.V. was tan young man, who looked to be in his early twenties, he had light, almost golden, brown hair, and long legs that were crossed on the coffee table in front of him, he had his hands connected behind his head as his gaze was fixed on the mundane programme that was currently playing, oblivious to Indi and Ark's arrival. He was not wearing his armour either, clad in grey sweat pants, and a black t-shirt, only adding to his relaxed mood.

The door in the kitchen slammed open and out stomped an angry looking man holding a sniper rifle. Wait, what? Indi double backed slightly, why was he carrying a sniper rifle in the first place? _And_ he had it aimed for someone, she followed where it was aiming, and it was at the blue soldier standing in front of her, a look of utter nervousness appeared on his face, his blue eyes impossibly wide.

The man with the sniper was clad just as lazily, in black sweat pants and a white wife beater, he had pitch black hair, Indi could not get a good look of his eyes seeing as they were trained on the quivering soldier in front of him, one eye squinting as he looked through the sight, not that he needed to, but oh well, each to their own, as they say.

"H-Hey, Church! T-There's no n-need to get h-hasty now!" the blue soldier stuttered, laughing nervously at the end, and he held his hands up in front of him as a sign of surrender.

"I don't give a flying fuck, you moron! You messed with my shit, and no one messes with my shit!"

Indi noticed that the guy lounging on the sofa did not seem the least bit phased, as if this scene were a re-occurrence within their base; he did not even bat an eye-lid.

She decided now was the time to step in and make her presence known, before she had no soldiers left to order around.

She coughed loudly as means of getting everyone's attention, and at the sound of a different voice to the usual ones they were used, all eyes were on Indi, "Ass wipes! Listen up!"

"Who the hell are you?" was the, oh so, polite interruption Indi received from the sniper, she now saw his eyes were a brilliant golden brown. She heard Ark cough suspiciously within his helmet and was pretty sure he was doing that to hide a laugh.

"Is that any way to address your superior, dick?" She could tell he was one just from looking at him, and she knew she would not get along with him _at all _during her time there.

"What do you mean superior?" the third soldier spoke, and apparently this was enough to get Mr. Unfazed out of his seat, as he was now standing next to the blue clad soldier, who had his life threatened only a few seconds ago, she saw his eyes too, and noticed they were a deep blue, adding to his already handsome features.

She gestured to Ark standing beside her, "This is my partner, Agent Arkansas," he nodded in way of greeting, "I am Agent Indiana and I am your new captain," she spoke steadily and calmly, allowing authority to show in her voice, she stood straight and tall.

Silence.

"What the fuck is happening? This has gotta be some sort of sick joke, or equally sick nightmare!" The one she presumed was called Church was the first to break from his stupor.

"None of the above. I have been sent to lead you useless toe rags and you will do as I say, tell me your names,"

"Now wait a goddamn second here! I understand we need a captain, but why the hell does it gotta be a fucking Freelancer?"

"Private, you are already wearing on my nerves and I have only been here five minutes," she began, her voice rising with each word, and she stomped the few feet distance there was between her and Church and when she reached him she leaned forward getting as much into his face as possible, "NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND QUIT INTERRUPTING ME YOU ASSHOLE!" she literally screeched her words, showing how angry she already was, she hated his guts already.

He shut up, choosing the safer option of glaring at her as hard as he could instead.

She stepped away from him and took a deep breath, not even glancing at the soldier's reactions as she stomped back to her position beside Ark.

When she stood facing them again though, their faces were ones of shock, but they were not going to make the mistake of speaking out of turn like their buddy had.

"Okay, names," she tried keeping her tone calm again, but it was terribly difficult, she already hated every second of being there before she had even _met_ these damn soldiers, and now, well now she really did think that lying in the bath tub with slit wrists would probably be the better option.

"Private Levarnius Tucker, sir,"

"Private Michael J. Caboose, sir, ma'am- uh sir! Ma'am!" Caboose exclaimed nervously, and Indi could not help but smile behind her visor, she realised just then he reminded her so much of her younger brother, and now that her anger was wearing slightly, she began to feel guilty for shouting at him so harshly earlier.

Silence filled the room once again as Indi waited for the last person in the room to announce his name to her.

After some time he finally spoke up, "Private Leonard Church," he ground out threw gritted teeth begrudgingly, she took a few breaths, not wanting to cause their second argument since arriving.

"Well," she began, pausing to remove her helmet, she shook her head as it was freed, there was a collective gasp as her face was on full view for the room to see, "it's a pleasure to meet you,"

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><p><strong>And there you have it! Church does not seem particularly pleased does he? Their new captain is not only a woman, but a Freelancer too? XD Anyways, let me know what y'all think! ^^<strong>


	3. Did you just call me a dick?

"Well," she began, pausing to remove her helmet, she shook her head as it was freed, there was a collective gasp as her face was on full view for the room to see, "it's a pleasure to meet you," Indi did not bother to hide the sarcasm in her voice.

Looking around the room something clicked from within Indi's brain.

"Hang on a moment! There are supposed to be four of you," Indi spoke carefully, confusion clear on her beautiful face, while her helmet was secure in the crook of her left arm, her right hand was then placed on her hip.

"Yeah, there is, she's scouting on the roof," Tucker answered, sneaking a glance to Ark, he had also removed his helmet, and when they locked gazes Tucker was hasty to give his new captain his full intention.

Indi nodded, she noticed him glancing every now and then at her very handsome friend, and she fought down a smirk, "Do whatever it is you do, I'll go introduce myself to this fourth soldier," she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, with Ark in tow who managed to get eye contact with Tucker, throwing him a small slightly flirtatious smile before leaving.

The lilac clad soldier walked straight into the brightness of the sun, forgetting just how bright it was, and momentarily blinding herself, she immediately squeezed her eyes shut, her face scrunching up in slight pain from the assault her eyes had taken, "Fuck!" she cursed before securing her helmet on her head. God she hated those helmets.

Ark chuckled beside her, and when she turned her penetrating (and currently invisible) gaze on him he already has his helmet on. Apparently he did not forget.

"I to-"

"Don't even say it," she warned, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"Ld you so," he finished anyway.

Indi sighed, "Whatever,"

She walked a few paces before turning to face the base, searching for the route to the roof, "How the fuck are we supposed to get up there?" she said in frustration.

"Did you happen to miss the ramp inside?"

"What ramp?" Indi questioned, she had not seen any ramp.

"Follow me… You know for a captain you're not as observant as you ought to be," he said, she could hear the mocking smile in his voice, and she knew he was going to help as much as possible to make her time in Blood Gulch a living Hell.

"What do you fucking want from me? And why the fuck couldn't you have saved me the trouble of coming outside being fucking assaulted by the sun? Fucking cock-bite," she grumbled. As you have possibly guessed it is rare for Indiana to speak sentences without at least one swear word thrown in somewhere.

"My, my, such a bad mouth for such a pretty face,"

"Shut your fucking mouth, Ark!" she growled, trying not to let Ark to get to her, it was the same as always, Indi would be pissed off at something, pretty much anything, and Ark would always be there to help get her even more riled up. She _should_ be used to it, five years would seem long enough, but Indi had never been mature enough to ignore when someone was purposefully trying to get her mad.

"Whatever girlfriend!" he shouted in his perfected camp voice, waving a hand in the air to dismiss her comment.

She ground her teeth, knowing that no matter what she said now he would just say something ever the more annoying back and she wanted to begin on good terms with at least one of her subordinates.

Ark suddenly stopped, and Indi walked around him so she stood on his right, seeing what he was standing in front of, it was the ramp.

Indi rolled her eyes, of course she would miss that, she had just assumed it was a wall, and since her destination had been further in the base she supposed she had missed it in her haste. Oh, god, she just wanted to get the introductions over with so she could find her room and possibly hole herself up in there forever. She really did not want to have to put up with these idiots a moment longer, but she knew there was no way she could get out of it.

They walked up the ramp and once again into the blazing sunlight, she looked around in search of the missing soldier, and found one clad in sunshine yellow armour sat down with their legs dangling over the edge, not looking busy in the slightest.

She came to a stop next to the soldier, only to have her presence ignored, and coughed loudly, still no response. They must have been in real deep thought. Indi glanced back at Ark, who was standing a few feet behind her, and he shrugged, so she focused her attention once again on the oblivious soldier sat in front of her.

"Oi! You, in the yellow armour! Get up off your lazy ass!" and that was her trying to be polite. Yeah, she was not very experienced in that area; she did not exactly do nice very well. At least, she did not shout it as loudly or harshly as she had to the other dumbasses.

Ark watched in amusement as the yellow clad soldier was jolted from their daze, squeaking and almost falling off the roof in surprise, they got up quickly in their haste to follow orders, and besides it was a voice they did not recognise, and with the authority they heard, they could be someone important, like from command or something.

When they were finally standing, and had gotten over their shock of having two new visitors, a female voice shouted, "God! You didn't have to be so rude about it!"

Indi was taken aback slightly at this girl's attitude, it was not like Church's who was just seemed like an inconsiderate prick.

"Private, I would be careful with how to speak to your new captain," Indi spoke carefully, not wanting to start on such bad terms.

"Captain?" the other woman questioned.

"That's right, I am Agent Indiana, your new captain, and this man next to me is my partner, Agent Arkansas,"

"Whoa, hold it there for a second, your names are states, so that means you're one of them, like that badass chick Tex, right?"

Indi's teeth ground at that, "We are Freelancers, yes,"

"And believe me when I say, we are nowhere near as badass as that Tex, so don't go getting your hopes up, honey," spoke Ark, laughter in his voice.

Indi elbowed him in the ribs, not that would do much good with his armour in the way, "Ark, are you hell-bent on shredding our respect as superiors before the day has even ended?" not that she cared either way, although it would make her time easier if they would have enough respect to listen to her. She may hate every minute being there, but she was going to do her job to the best of her ability, if only to prove to Agent Carolina that she was indeed competent enough to be a Freelancer.

"Agent Indiana, this is Agent Carolina, do you read?" Ah, speak of the devil and the devil shall appear.

She rolled her eyes, figures she would be checking up on her, probably making sure she had not killed everyone out of anger or boredom.

"What do you want, Car?" she heard Agent Carolina sigh over the radio, bringing a smile to her lips, Carolina did not exactly like the nickname Indi had decided to give her, but it was a lost cause to get her to stop.

"Indi, have you reached Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha?"

"Yes, I have, and I hate every fucking second already,"

"Well you're gonna have to suck it up if you ever want a higher rank, Indiana," she dropped the nickname, meaning she was serious.

"This is ridiculous! What the fuck is being a captain of a stimulation going to prove? None of this shit is real, I would much rather be out in the field, with real enemies and real soldiers I have to lead," Indi and Carolina had this same argument repeated times already, but Carolina had thought this be the best option for Indi when she came to her cursing about how she wanted to be a higher rank on the board, and so Carolina had asked the Director what he would suggest, and they had agreed on this. It's safe to say Indi was not the least bit pleased.

"Indi," she sighed again, this time it sounded tired, "We've been through this enough times already, just give it a rest alright? You're the one who wants to get a higher rank on the board, and while you're in Blood Gulch we'll see how well you handle the responsibilities of leadership, and if you meet our standards, _then_ we will see if we can send you out into the field,"

Indi groaned, "Fuck, fine! _Fine_! But have you _seen_ these fucking retards? From the footage I was given all they seem to do all day is bicker and kill each other! And don't even get me started on the one called Church, he is a fucking dick, period, and I am_ not_ gonna put up with his shit while I am here,"

Carolina did something that was so rare few had ever heard it before, and the ones who did probably only heard it once in their lives, this being Indi's first time… She laughed!

Before Indi could revel in the fact that she had actually made a stiff like Carolina laugh she shouted at her, "What the fuck do you think you're laughing at?"

Carolina calmed down enough to speak a coherent sentence, but when she did her smile was clear to Indi in her voice, "Well, from what _I_ have seen on the footage, Church is _exactly_ like you! If you wanted to find a difference, that difference would only be your gender,"

"Excuse me! Are you calling me a dick?"

"Oh no, well sometimes, I mean you can be a pretty big dick when you want to be," she said truthfully.

"You know what? Fuck you. Next time you need to someone to radio in send York or someone just as decent to talk with if not more decent, Agent Carolina. Indiana out." And with that she ended the radio call abruptly; cutting off anything further Carolina had to say. She even used Carolina's full name, something she never did.

Although, she may have sounded harsh and angry just then, she was not actually as angry as she made out to be, or even wanted to be, at the most she was annoyed, but she was just so tired, being angry had really taken a toll on her that day, she was fed up with being angry all of the time.

She sighed wearily, turning back to the soldier, "Sorry for the interruption, let's get this over with quickly, what's your name?"

"Oh! U-uh, Private Kaikaina Grif, sir," she stuttered slightly, not expecting Indi to continue their conversation at that moment.

"Great, go back to doing whatever you were doing then, I need a fucking nap," Indo spoke lazily, not really caring anymore.

Kaikaina chuckled, "You sound just like my big brother, he's always taking naps,"

"Oh? Really? When exactly did you think I gave a crap about your brother's sleeping habits?" Indi answered back sarcastically, god this really was not going well now was it? She really needed some sleep, she was getting crabby.

Ark coughed uncomfortably, he noticed Indi's change in mood, and as much as he liked to annoy his best friend, well he was not about to humiliate her further in front of the soldier, "Don't listen to Indi, she just needs some rest, it's been a stressful day, for all involved," he said in a cheery sort of tone, trying to lighten the mood a little.

Kaikaina did not know exactly what to say to that so she just sort of stood there in silence, while her new captain, and that other guy (she had forgotten his name) walked away back into base.

Well, things were certainly going to be… Interesting.


	4. Breakfast followed by conflict anyone?

**Oh God... hi guys, if anyone even cares about this story anymore, I don't blame you if you don't heh heh *sweatdrop* Well, it's been I don't even know how long since I have updatd this story and I am sorry, but I had a baby, who is now 17 months and he is called Arthur and he is amazing :) I also went back to uni, to finish what I started haha, having Arthur meant I took a year out, and so I went back to do my second year, which I have just finished, YAY! so I should have a little mroe time to update. What got me back into this story though was watching REd vs Blue again today, I finished my exam, the last thing I have to do except wait for my results, and I was like, "I wanna write that fanfiction again!" and now here it is! This chapter is what killed me before, I got halfway through, and was like Oh God I have no idea where I am going with this and got a writer's block, and gave up. But alas! I am back, and I know where this story is heading, I am so much better with this now, I actually write down my plan for the story's and what I want to happen in each chapter. God, why was it so hard to figure that out before?!**

**Haha, anyway, this author's note is really long so you don't have to bother reading it, but it pretty much sums everything up! Please enjoy the story, and tell how much you enjoyed it in a review! Thank you guys! :) **

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><p>The morning after Indi and Ark's arrival the blue team sat around the kitchen table, and they were all expressing their thoughts on the newcomers. None of them were in their armour; Church and Tucker were dressed lazily in their night clothes, which only consisted of a pair of loose boxers with their toned abs on show, while Caboose was wearing a pair of grey sweat pants and a white t-shirt with his dog tags dangling from around his neck. Kaikaina was noticeably absent, but she would be doing one of two things, still sleeping, or pestering her big brother.<p>

"I can't fucking believe that we have to have those motherfucking _freelancers_ order us around now!" was Church's heated exclamation.

"I thought they were only supposed to come here to aid us?" Tucker spoke this time confusion lacing his voice.

Church snorted, "Well, it looks like they wanna do more shit than that now," as he spoke his face contorted into one of disdain.

"You know, I don't really think Agent Indiana is that bad," Caboose chirped into the conversation.

Church stared incredulously at his teammate, "What the fuck is wrong with you, Caboose? That bitch is fucking crazy!"

"First of all, Private, you are fucking dick and I don't think we'll ever get along, second of all, I would prefer if you would say that to my face," came the lazy female tone they had recognised from the day before, only this time there were no traces of anger, it just sounded soft and… fed up almost. Like she could not really care less about anything, least of all what her subordinate thought of her.

All three heads snapped into the direction of the door, where their new captain was currently standing, clad in a white tank top and a pair of grey cotton shorts revealing her long toned legs. Now that she was wearing practically nothing, the guys were able to get a better look at her.

Her white-blonde hair was in a styled bob-cut reaching just passed her chin, and from her toned limbs and flat stomach you could tell she worked out a lot, and her skin was a luscious bronze. They figured it was natural because there was no way she could have ever had the time to sunbathe, especially being in that armour twenty-four-seven.

She yawned and rub her jade green eyes, wandering over to the cupboards, passing Church as she went. He recovered from his momentary lapse into shock, but was cut off by her before he could make a smart-ass reply, she waved a hand, "Whatever you have to say, save it. I honestly don't care what any of you think of me, I don't plan on sticking around long enough for us to become BFFs, I just wanna do my work and get outta here," she drawled, and now that she was not shouting her head off, and was speaking clearer and slower, they recognised the southern-American twang in her voice.

Tucker during this whole scene couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from Indi and her backside as it swayed and bounced in time with her steps.

"The sooner you get out of here the better I say," Church grumbled into his mug of coffee.

Silence fell among the blue team as Indi slowly milled about the kitchen taking longer than necessary for a normal person to fix up a few slices of toast and a strong cup of coffee. It always took her way too long to wake up in the mornings and she was still practically half-asleep, part of why she wasn't bothered about Church and his attitude. Oh, and she knew was perfectly aware of what kind of a guy Private Tucker was, and really couldn't care less that he was so obviously checking her out. He may as well get a good look, she knew she was hot, but she also knew that was as close as he was ever going to get. That and the fact that she caught him checking out her teammate yesterday when they took their helmets.

After a good ten to fifteen minutes of her setting up her own breakfast she sat down in the seat closest to Caboose and farthest away from Church, she did it without thinking, and surmised it to be a subconscious way of her brain getting her out of what could be a very tense situation.

There was also the fact that she felt magnetically pulled toward Caboose. He reminded her so much of her younger brother that she had left behind all those years ago. He had been barely ten years old with golden blonde hair, a significantly darker shade than her own, and bright blue eyes, as blue as the afternoon sky in the middle of summer, and Caboose held a strong resemblance to her brother in looks, as well as the over-powering innocence that seemed to emanate from him, making her all the more want to look out for him.

She was also opposite Tucker, and wanted to torment him with her franchise.

She supressed a smirk as she took the first bite of her toast, slathered in marmite, it was practically dripping from the bread.

She closed her eyes, and savored the taste, letting out a quiet, "mmm," as she chewed slowly.

Caboose did not feel nearly as uncomfortable as he thought he should have done sitting next to his new captain, that morning she seemed like a completely different person to what he had witnessed the day before, and being beside her he felt a strange wave of calm come over him.

Not like Church who sulked into his coffee mug.

It was at that moment Ark decided to make an appearance.

His light brown hair, with a few golden strands, was an absolute mess atop his head, and it seemed he decided to also walk around half naked, wearing only his baggy shorts, showing off his toned stomach and legs, also a natural tan, however not as deep as Indi's. He gave a big yawn followed by a stretch, and only Indi noticed how Tucker's gaze locked onto Ark's athletic body. Being sat directly opposite the table from Indi and in full frontal view of the door, he had the perfect view.

"Mornin' all," he mumbled half-sleepily, sounding as if he could go straight back to sleep if he wanted, which he could.

Indi grunted in response, her mouth suddenly overflowing with toast, and she had a very attractive dribble of marmite making a journey down her chin, and greasy butter encrusted with bread crumbs was smudged around her lips.

Ark noticed, "Oh, Carrie dear, how you manage to look oh-so-attractive when you eat I shall never know," he joked half-heartedly, it was still too early in the morning. The fact that he also used her real name did not go unnoticed either, by Indiana or the blue team.

She frowned, was he really trying to get her riled up already? What? He couldn't spare her a few minutes of peace before she finally became the frustrated wreck?

In response, however, she took a different approach to letting it get to her, and instead shovelled more marmite dripping toast into her mouth. How she could even fit an extra crumb in her already disgustingly full mouth is anyone's guess really.

Ark scoffed with a shake of his head, and Church took this moment to shoot a disgusted glance in her direction, "What the fuck are you, some kind of animal?"

"Even Church can't try to fit that much into his fat mouth," Tucker said, snickering as he did. Oh, he loved to make fun of Church's 'weight problem' as he loves to call it.

"Hffuf ufff fuu hickfhhead!" Indi tried exclaiming, the end result being pieces of toast and spit flying from her mouth, some managing to reach Church's face for which she found to be a sweet victory.

Caboose giggled, while Tucker and Ark laughed at Church's now astonished expression. He raised a hand slowly to wipe off the excrement that had somehow defied gravity from his captain's mouth.

Indi opened her mouth as wide as she could without all of her food falling out onto the plate from whence it came, "Ha. Haaa. Haaaaa!" she just about managed that muffled laughter, along with showing Church the beautiful view.

"What the fuck! You disgusting fucking bitch! I don't want your shit on my face, got it?"

"Hfell fuu fouu haff hough ha haat effor, hough haa?" was her intelligent answer.

"Alright, Carrie, I think the world has seen enough of what lies inside your beautiful mouth, now please carry on eating attractively," Ark instructed her politely.

Indi just shrugged her shoulders and swallowed heavily, before finishing off what was left of her toast.

* * *

><p>So, they didn't exactly get off on the right foot on that first day, and she may have been a little immature at breakfast, but it didn't change the fact that she was the captain of this pathetic little squadron, or whatever the hell they liked to call themselves.<p>

She had them all lined up outside their base ready and waiting for her orders.

She stood in front of them, Ark at her side, calculating them, and how to go about this. Indi knew she was in for a hell of a stubborn ride with her next orders.

She could Ark's gaze landing periodically on her every few miliseconds, and she would never admit it but it was making her edgy.

And then a call came through on her radio, "Agent Indiana do you read? This is Agent Carolina reporting, I repeat Agent-"

"Yes, I'm here already, what do you want?"

"Agent Indiana, it would do you any favours in your future to speak to your superiors in that manner," Agent Carolina scolded in her cold, "I mean business" tone.

Indi was positively seething, she could practically see Church shaking with supressed glee.

Indi grit her teeth, "Agent Carolina, I would appreciate if you would give me one of your world famous tellings off in front of my squad, you know what kind of impression that could give them don't' you?" she asks in her most polite tone.

"Agent Indiana, I am checking in to make sure everything went well with your induction yesterday, and that you are finding your new squad easy to handle?" she says, showing no signs of having taken in what Indi requested.

Indi could feel her blood boiling, she knew she had to stay under control, but she couldn't take her eyes of church and she was becoming overwhelmed with the insane idea to just shoot him already, she answers in a calm and sweet voice, "Look, Agent Carolina, if you guessed as much from our conversation from yesterday, the induction went simply swimmingly, they are a great bunch of soldiers, they are not at all what I expected, they are sunshine and meadows, and like those unicorns that shit fucking rainbows, now will you cut the crap and let me do my job?!" and hung up on Agent Carolina.

Now she knew was gonna get a bollocking for it, and she knew that Carolina was only checking to see how Indi was doing, probably because of the sour note Indi left it on yesterday and possibly make amends, but now Indi just made it worse. In that moment however, she didn't give a crap.

"Right! Soldiers stand up straight!" She ordered in the harshest tone imaginable, even Church listened to her, no doubt when they were off duty later he would let all his repressed joy out onto her, and he would rip his head off.

They all stood straight with their heads up, shoulders back, and backs straight.

"Perfect, now," she paused for emphasis, a smirk appearing on her hidden lips, "I want to teach you how to shoot,"

And all hell breaks loose.

* * *

><p><strong>Haha! How did you like folks? Well, let me know in a review, I would love to hear from you guys! I don't mind constructive crit, but any flaming will be politely ignored, and unwelcome :)<strong>

**Thank you guys! x**


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